You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
