did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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