Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
