CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
