You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
