my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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