I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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