that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
