Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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