Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
