How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
