lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
