I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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