No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
