Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
