His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
