She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
