I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
