I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
