Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
