Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
