do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
