I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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