remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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