I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
