it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
