trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
