They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
