I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
