i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His nipple licking is glorious
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