omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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