be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize