Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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