WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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