Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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