New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
