Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if only i could text you this smell
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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