tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
