I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
