How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
