I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
