I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
