Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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