I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
