oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize