So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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