Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Even my vagina gasped.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
