I think I died a long time ago.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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