I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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