i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
