it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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