Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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