After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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