it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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