I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
