We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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