Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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