He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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