ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
