yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
