The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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