Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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