Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Dear god my vagina.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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