I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
