Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
