from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
