Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
