At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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