I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
