Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
