I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
