i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
