shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
